You are fearful-avoidant, they are secure
Somebody steady, unbothered by your distance and unthreatened by your closeness, is the condition under which this pattern actually shifts. Nothing else does it reliably.
Wants to be close and backs away from it, sometimes inside the same week.
Comfortable close, comfortable apart, and able to say which one they need today.
What actually happens
The thing to watch for is timing. You will push hardest right after something good happens, because that is when the stakes are highest and the alarm is loudest. From the outside it looks like sabotage arriving out of nowhere, immediately after a good weekend, and it is almost impossible to read correctly unless somebody explains it first.
What this one needs
So explain it first, while things are calm. Tell them that the disappearing follows the good parts rather than the bad ones, and that it is not a verdict on them. Secure people can hold a pattern they understand almost indefinitely. What they cannot hold is one that looks like being punished for doing well.
Something you can send
Fair warning: I go quiet after things go well, not after they go badly. It isn't about you, and it passes.
Not sure which one you are? The quiz is 16 questions and gives you two scores rather than a single label.
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