You are fearful-avoidant, they are anxious
They will reach for you constantly and mean every bit of it. You will want it and then need to get out of the room, and you will not be able to explain the switch while it is happening.
Wants to be close and backs away from it, sometimes inside the same week.
Wants closeness and watches for the loss of it, so silence gets read as an answer.
What actually happens
What makes this one hard is that their reaching is genuinely the trigger. They come closer because they are frightened of losing you, and being come at is the exact condition that makes you leave. Then your leaving is the thing they were frightened of, so they come harder. Two people with opposite alarms, and the alarms feed each other perfectly.
What this one needs
The thing that helps is a prearranged shape for your exits. An exit with a stated length is something they can survive; an exit with no shape is the thing that destroys them. Say the length before you go, and come back exactly when you said, even if you do not feel ready. Coming back on time matters far more than anything said afterwards.
Something you can send
I need until tomorrow evening. I'm not gone, and I'll message you then whether or not I'm sorted.
Not sure which one you are? The quiz is 16 questions and gives you two scores rather than a single label.
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