You are secure, they are fearful-avoidant
Expect both directions. They will get closer than you expected and then disappear from the conversation, sometimes in the same week, and you will be tempted to read the second move as the true one. It is not more true than the first.
Comfortable close, comfortable apart, and able to say which one they need today.
Wants to be close and backs away from it, sometimes inside the same week.
What actually happens
The vanish usually arrives right after something good. Closeness raises the stakes, the stakes raise the alarm, and the alarm produces distance. If you chase it, you confirm that closeness is dangerous. If you punish it, you confirm the same thing more slowly.
What this one needs
Stay the same size. Do not expand to rescue them and do not shrink to protect yourself. Being exactly as available on the bad week as on the good one is the only thing that eventually rewrites this, and it takes months rather than conversations.
Something you can send
I noticed you've gone quiet. I'm not going anywhere, and you can take the week if you need it.
Not sure which one you are? The quiz is 16 questions and gives you two scores rather than a single label.
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