You are anxious, they are fearful-avoidant
The cruelty of this one is that the pulling away genuinely is not rejection, and it is completely indistinguishable from rejection while it is happening.
Wants closeness and watches for the loss of it, so silence gets read as an answer.
Wants to be close and backs away from it, sometimes inside the same week.
What actually happens
They get close, the closeness raises the stakes, and the stakes trip an alarm that has nothing to do with you. They go. You, already braced for exactly this, read it as the truth finally showing itself, and you reach — which is the one thing that makes the alarm louder. Then they come back warm, and the whole thing resets, and the reset is what keeps you in it.
What this one needs
You need something that does not depend on their week. That is unfair and it is also the situation. Decide in advance what you will do during a disappearance rather than deciding in the middle of one, and tell them what you have decided so it is not a punishment.
Something you can send
When you disappear I'm going to stop chasing, not because I'm angry, but because I can't do the chasing part. I'll be here.
Not sure which one you are? The quiz is 16 questions and gives you two scores rather than a single label.
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