Anxious and anxious: nobody is holding the floor
Two people scanning each other for signs of leaving. It can feel extraordinary early on, because nobody has to ask twice for attention and nobody is ever the only one who cares more.
Wants closeness and watches for the loss of it, so silence gets read as an answer.
Wants closeness and watches for the loss of it, so silence gets read as an answer.
What actually happens
The problem is that there is no floor. When one of you wobbles, the other does not steady it, because the wobble is exactly the thing they are watching for. A short reply becomes two people rereading a conversation at midnight. Fights escalate quickly and resolve quickly, and the speed of the resolution hides how often it happens.
What this one needs
One of you has to become the flat surface on purpose, and it should be whoever is less activated that day rather than always the same person. Agree on a boring rule in advance: nothing important gets decided by text, and a silence under a day means nothing at all.
Something you can send
Rule for us: if either of us goes quiet for under a day, it means nothing. Let's just agree that now.
Not sure which one you are? The quiz is 16 questions and gives you two scores rather than a single label.
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