You are avoidant, they are fearful-avoidant
They arrive hard and then disappear. Your instinct welcomes the disappearing, which is the trap: the relationship only ever runs at the distance set by whoever is more frightened that week, and neither of you ever names it.
Steady alone, and keeps one door half shut without ever deciding to.
Wants to be close and backs away from it, sometimes inside the same week.
What actually happens
Their close phase will feel like too much and you will wait it out rather than meet it. Then their far phase arrives and you are relieved, so you do not reach for them — which they read as confirmation that reaching was a mistake. The pattern is not an argument. It is two people taking turns being unavailable and calling it compatibility.
What this one needs
You are the more stable one here, whether or not it feels that way, and the stability is what this needs. Reach once during their far phase, small and without a demand attached. One message that expects no reply does more here than anything you could say during a close phase.
Something you can send
No reply needed. Thought of you today, that's all.
Not sure which one you are? The quiz is 16 questions and gives you two scores rather than a single label.
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