You are avoidant, they are anxious
From where you sit, this feels like being asked for more than anyone could reasonably give. From where they sit, they are asking for confirmation that you are still there. Those two descriptions are of the same sentence.
Steady alone, and keeps one door half shut without ever deciding to.
Wants closeness and watches for the loss of it, so silence gets read as an answer.
What actually happens
The loop costs you more than it costs them, which is worth knowing. Every step back you take produces a bigger ask, and the bigger ask makes the next step back feel more justified. Six months in, you are managing a relationship instead of being in one, and the amount of energy that takes is far more than the thing they originally wanted.
What this one needs
The cheap move is the boring one. Say where you are going and when you will be back. Answer the message even if the answer is that you cannot talk yet. Almost all of their alarm is about not knowing, and not knowing is the one thing you can fix without giving up any actual space.
Something you can send
Can't talk properly until tonight, but I'm not annoyed and nothing's wrong. Talk at nine.
Not sure which one you are? The quiz is 16 questions and gives you two scores rather than a single label.
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